I wrote this some time ago and have been meaning to put it up since, forever.
It’s a check list for Darlingme that I hope to go to every now and again, and what better place to put it ( coz I do tend to lost random pieces of paper) then on me very own blog.
Plus, it might actually help some other nonsense person who needs to conceptualize everything into little check boxes to evaluate pros and cons, opportunity cost, profit margins and bottom lines.
I know business-tizing relationships and emotions don’t really make all that much sense, but since said two (love and stuff) don’t make much sense in the first place, this is all a slightly OCDed and ‘deep thinking’ person can do.
Yes, ‘deep thinker’ is a nicer word and maybe politically correct term for someone who ponders way too much on funny little things that really do not warrant all that much pondering.
On hindsight, it may not have been the best decision to take philosophy in uni, then again, I’d probably still be doing stuff like this with or without grounded basics from the after thoughts of wrinkly old men long dead and probably coughing a fit 6 feet under choking on a child’s blog post.
Yes I said child, however old I am, I still think I have much learning and maturing to do, so that makes me a child. In my opinion at least.
At least I can quote some legendary name to people who happen to be listening. Weirdly enough, u get brushed off less often then not when u quote Descartes.
I’ve tried to categorize them into a kind of overall group. There must be a proper word for each group but I haven’t come up with it yet.
They’re in no particular order and mostly relate to me, so adjust accordingly for yourself. Or your partner if your being oh-so-nice-I-wish-u-were-mine and reading it to better yourself for her.
And I’ve really put some many thoughts into this, so don’t go dismissing a whimsical rant k? It might save your relationship.
Points and issues taken from conversations with friends where also taken into consideration.
And again, this was written pertaining to Darlingme and one should keep in mind that not many girls are akind to said Darling. But I’ve kept most points general to remain applicable to blogders.
o Somebody who wants a similar future
o Because it’s a way of thinking that affects the ‘now’.
o Goals and principles
o Forgive and understand my nonsense
o Not prosecute me for it.
o Because I know I have a problem, and it’s a bigger problem trying to remedy the initial problem. Problems are called problems coz u haven’t found the solution yet. After that, its called an issue that was solved, or at least in the process of getting solved.
o Someone who doesn’t freak out when I crash, who doesn’t want to lock me up or load me with pills, who actively and sincerely wants to help. Oh but angels don’t come down to earth.
o Money and the willingness to spend on me.
o Savings, plans for future, wise use of money
o Intellect, at least some form of it, conversations that intrigue
o About things that I don’t know about and having that willingness to teach me
o A good conversationalist, somebody who listens. At least thinks that I have things worth listening to.
o The right kind of humor
- The kind that makes me laugh, not smile politely when I secretly think u’re a dork/jerk/insensitive cruel hentai meanie
o Romantic, sentimental, thoughtful
o Someone who makes me feel worthy
o Coz when I do so much and put that much thought into something, and u don’t, it seems like u’re lazy/don’t put in the effort coz u don’t think I’m worth the effort. Ie, maybe u don’t really think about me all that much. And NOT the ‘I wonder how she’d look like in a 2 piece’ think, the ‘I wonder what I can do to make her smile today’ think.
o Reliable, dependable, responsible, trustworthy
o So I don’t have to be the one worrying all the time. Somebody else be the adult for a little while.
o I want to know everything won’t collapse if I go into a coma or something.
o Hugs and kisses, loving affections, adoring habits
o Someone who makes me feel all warm and safe
o Who isn’t afraid to show that he adores me
o Physical satisfactions
o Not some primal gratification that leaves u feeling empty
o The right fit and style - after serve care . heh.
o Willingness to make me happy
o Performance ability
I realized that this point relates to all the above really. Yes, all the 7 points aforesaid.
I gather that this is a big issue with guys, so HELLO~ u want a good rating, u gotta put in the leg work. Heh. Horrible unintended pun.
o Language, means of communication, shared interests, willingness to share activities
o English is one thing but u won’t get anywhere if u can’t agree on the definition of things. Seriously. It ain’t about to-may-to and to-ma-to.
And some tiny points that is nonetheless still there and should be noted.
o Somebody who looks attractive enough to me.
Ie not ugly to me. Stress on the ‘to me’. I find a lot of girls overlook the fact that it’s the girl in the relationship(you) who has to look at that face/body and not your friends/ social standard committee (editors at Cosmo) who decides what ‘good looking’ is.
o The ideal would of course be tall much taller than me, broad shouldered, kind but piercing eyes, walks with quiet confidence, and must look good in a collared long-sleeved shirt.
o Big on cleanliness.
o Personal and environment
o A little ocd wouldn’t be all that bad.
§ Housework and chores
· Its all about him wanting to look after me
· Not being chauvinistic about it, it should be because he doesn’t want me to do it. Have u seen how tiny I am and susceptible of falling out the window?!
o Encourages me to keep nice and clean, and thus reducing chances of me slipping into sad-cycle. Its not an excuse, but it is a tiny factor. Chicken and egg question, but the 2 do coincide and propel each other.
It sounds like I don’t make any allowances but I think I do. I don’t list education level, family background, occupation, race, religion, looks to a certain degree (hey, I didn’t say he HAS to look like Edison Chen did i?) but anybody will tell u I make humongous allowances on that one. Age wasn’t up there either although I would appreciate them being older and assets like cars and cards don’t make the list.
Then again people have these (the above criteria) as a screening process, but I like to think that a piece of paper doesn’t define a person and you can be what u want to be regardless of where u started. Even though, when u think about it, I am in a place to impose these standards unhypocritically.
I know u can sum it all up by saying ‘somebody who understands me’, but sometimes you have to list it out, even to yourself.
Coz sometimes you need a list in life.
To make sure you don’t make another mistake.
.
